Words. I love them. Always have. I love learning new ones. I have a plethora of favorites because I love hearing them spoken and enjoy how they roll off the tongue. Words like: resplendent, lackadaisical, brouhaha, conundrum, insipid, persnickety, etc. Growing up I would try to learn one new word a day. Words are yummy to me. Meaning, I could devour them up they are so good. I have always been a reader. I could get lost in books. From an early age, I read books that had LARGE, smart, words. I remember sitting with a dictionary and when I’d get to a word I didn’t understand, I’d look it up. Then, viola, I had another word added to my Raelynn dictionary. I think Jason Mraz expresses it best in one of his songs. It goes like this…
“See I’m all about them words, over numbers, unencumbered, numbered words.
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages, forwards. More words, than I had ever heard,
And I feel so alive!”
You can string words together to create a fantastical image of emotions, thoughts, points, and recollections. For me, words, were how I expressed all that was going on within my head. I’m a thinker. Most times, I can get too lost in my own thoughts. So many words happening all at once can create a perfect storm of catastrophe in your mind. And to be able to journal it out helped stopped some of the inner processing that was unhealthy. Words are also strung together wonderfully in music. You can generally tell the mood i’m in by the songs i’m listening to. I’m not a genre snob when it comes to music. It can be pop, country, rock, rap, R&B, opera, folk, yodeling…the point being, the lyrics are what draw me in, those beautifully strung together words, within the song. They speak to my emotions, happy and sad. Reaching deep into my soul. Telling of all that is going on deep in my heart. Or, solely, expressing fun and being alive.
I’ve always been expressive. Ask anyone who knows me. It’s rare that i’m at a loss for words. Though, i’m sure many wish I was at a loss for words in some instances. For that, I say, I’m sorry. But not really, it’s just who I am. I’ve always been verbose. It’s me, I’ve accepted it. Please for your sake, accept it, too.
Lately I’ve been pondering on the power of words. Words have power for good and bad. I’ve been thinking about how words can bring life or bring death. They can build up or they can tear down. And as verbose as I am, I have felt the need to be silent. See, even a wordy, gabby, talkative, expressive person can be quiet and still. I’ve been trying to tie together what i’m feeling with my words. But I’m getting mostly silence. The words have stopped. It was frustrating at first. But God has been speaking to me in the silence. He’s been quieting my words and speaking to me His words. God is gracious and faithful. And He’s been speaking life to me as I’ve been in a place of grief, healing, and uncertainty. He’s been quieting my words, when I want to lash out at what’s hurting me. He’s been wooing me with His loving kindness and speaking words of healing that remind me that no matter the words I tell myself or that others speak over me, I can’t get farther than His grace can reach. With a sound of his voice — His words, brings forth healing. He heals us from all our diseases…even the disease of negative words that are spoken about us, from us, or over us.
I’m going to cover in another blog, or two*, more about what I’ve been learning about the power of words. Lately, as much as I love words, I feel like words have been shooting arrows at me. Word arrows from myself, from those closest to me. From those that I love, and those that love me. From the expected and from the most unexpected places. There have been many tears in the last month as I’ve pondered, or analyzed to death, the words that have been spoken over me…and my choice to believe them. But, with God, we are on a journey to overcome them. To find healing and freedom from the negative. And to only accept in my life what is truth and life giving. We all know its easier to believe the negative, than the positive. With Him, I’m on a journey to use the power of words to build up, not tear down. Because this is what you need to know…once a word has been spoken, heard, and/or seen, it sticks on us for better or worse. And it can bring encouragement and life; or such heartache and grief. I want to bring encouragement. I want to bring LOVE with my words. I choose not to tear down, because I don’t want anyone to feel what I’ve been feeling lately with the words that have been taunting me.*I didn’t want this to be any longer than it already is….see, verbose! So it was easier to break into more blogs.